The Seat of Clarity
Relaxation invites healing
As a child I would create potions. I’d spend hours in the forest collecting flower petals, leaves, beautiful looking seed pods, and piles of dirt that sparkled with mica. After I was satisfied with my collection, I’d add water and mix with a stick. When I needed a break from my sorceress ways I’d sit in the shade and taste the sweetness from the honeysuckles. I’d watch the bees crawl around the flowers and allow their sound to sync with my insides. The buzzing settled me.
I can’t recall what my wild imagination planned to do with those potions. I just remember mixing and pouring the magical liquid into smaller jars. Maybe to use at a later time.
As a mother, I’m still mixing potions. I have a basket full of herbal tinctures on my kitchen counter and a yard full of herbs. If my kids have an immune imbalance or an emotional imbalance, I mix up a potion. We have a cabinet full of herbal teas. My kids know which tea to brew after dinner to aid with digestion. Just last night my oldest took charge and poured us each a cup of tea while we sat down to play cards. As parents we try to instill lessons of good character, healthy living, responsibility, and everything we can think of to help shape a human who will thrive on their own. At times, I feel my messages aren’t getting through. Last night, I could tell my way of living and being — as well as my storytelling — is indeed landing with my daughters.
It seems I was born knowing plants have the power to heal. Maybe I was a green witch in a past life. Knowing plant medicine exists and understanding it works is likely the reason I canceled my surgery for the second time.
I was scheduled to go under the knife last week. I wrote all about how I was going to have the procedure regardless of the tidal wave of fear that pounded me to shore, daily. Well, I changed course, yet again. It’s been a year of navigating heavy seas, unpredictable storms, but somehow always finding a new direction resulting in the sea of contentment. Contentment is what I seek. I can rest there and find magic.
There were several factors that led me to cancel the surgery. The most prominent issue I could no longer avoid was a quiet yet relentless inner voice telling me to pump the brakes on this permanent procedure. Was it fear or intuition? That is unclear, but I didn’t want to spend the mental energy trying to sift through that question.
I called my endocrinologist in California to get his opinion on the matter. He’s been with me since the beginning of this health saga. He agreed waiting a little longer would be fine. That’s all I need — more time. Time to wrap up the divorce. Time to start a new business. Time to explore one more alternative healing method. An ancient method that involves mixing potions.
A New Plan
I alerted my family and friend group about the new plan. I received some raised eyebrows and engaged in a few discussions sprinkled with subtle judgment. There was also a cheerleading section with high kicks and remote fist bumps. This crowd was rooting for me not because they thought it was the right decision, but because I was following what I felt was the right decision.
I called The Ayurvedic Center of Vermont and they had an opening the same week my surgery was scheduled for. My folks were already planning to be with my children at that time. The universe was making it easy. I took it as a sign. Childcare was covered. The Ayurvedic Center had space. I booked a flight and off I went.
Ayurvedic Medicine
Ayurvedic medicine originated in India more than 5,000 years ago. In Sanskrit, Ayurveda means “the science of life and longevity.” It is a complex and dynamic ancient wisdom tradition.
While allopathic medicine excels at treating the physical body, Ayurvedic medicine wins accolades for treating the mind, body, and soul in unison. According to this science, we all have a unique constitution, which refers to the combination of our physical, mental, and emotional characteristics and predispositions. Ayurveda believes all systems are interconnected. To remedy the unbalanced human, the Ayurvedic approach encompasses diet and nutrition, lifestyle, exercise, rest and relaxation, mediation, breathing exercise, and medicinal herbs (potions!). There are also deep cleansing, detoxification, and rejuvenation programs for healing. That is what I signed up for. It’s called Panchakarma.
The Panchakarma Treatment
I began the treatment a week prior to arriving at the center by following a bland mono diet. The usual suspects were avoided: caffeine, sugar, alcohol, dairy, meat, and refined carbs. That wasn’t too challenging; I have a pretty clean diet. Specific herbs were added to prep the body for detoxification. The only questionable step in the instructions landed on day 3 of this pretreatment cleanse. I was instructed to drink warm liquid ghee first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. Ghee is clarified butter, butter that has been simmered and strained to remove all of the water. I shockingly enjoyed it, indicating my body needed the internal lubrication. I continued drinking ghee for three more days. A full fat diet was working for my constitution.
The theory is that a week prior to treatment, the body is primed at home by internal lubricating the digestive tract and all of the tissues. Hence, drinking liquid ghee. The week of treatment, the process of external lubrication, begins with oil massages, a steam cabinet, and the use of specific warm herbs rubbed all over the body to extract toxins. Once the oil from the external body meets the oil from the internal body, you reach oleation. Meaning, you are fully oiled from the inside and out. All channels of circlaton are open and the detoxing can begin. There are specific therapies used to flush toxins. It’s a very deep yet gentle process.
Five Days of Bliss
My Panchakarma Treatment (PK) routine went like this. Each day I’d rise before the sun, sit on a meditation pillow for a bit, eat breakfast, go to yoga, and then walk to the healing center. I had three or four different treatments and a private consultation with the doctor daily.
The healing center is in an old brick home. Inside, practitioners float around with open hearts and a loving presence. They share their warmth and positive resonance in peaceful nonverbal synchrony. No one is busy or rushing or stressed. It’s the opposite. Everyone is focused and attuned and relaxed. Being witness to this is another layer of healing. The results of slow living and intentional practices are transformative.
For five days I would enter this space, find my practitioners, and we’d begin.
The PK Circuit
Step one is abhyanga, which is an ancient Ayurvedic massage technique performed by a synchronized team of two therapists. Yes, two humans were massaging me daily. The therapists would start the session holding my hands and chanting. A devotional prayer to heal and a call to the spiritual realm for some assistance. Next, both massage therapists would use herb-infused oil from head to toe. The oils used were specifically selected for my constitution.This massage technique systematically draws out impurities, improves lymphatic circulation, and moves all of the toxins to the gut to be flushed out.
Step two is Swedana. It’s an herbal steam cabinet. It feels similar to a sauna, which I love. This full-body treatment is given in a uniquely designed steam cabinet which allows the head to remain cool. The body receives moist heat and essential oils encouraging more toxins to move along. The unwanted energy is eliminated through the sweat glands.
Last stop in the sequence is Shirodhara. It’s a therapeutic oiling of the head and scalp. The oil hits directly upon the third eye and other powerful marma points. It’s a treatment of warm oil poured slowly in a continuous stream across the forehead. A face and scalp massage ta-boot. Shirodhara calms the central nervous system, synchronizes brain waves and promotes a sense of deep peace. Think of those deep theta waves we aim to access via meditation. This treatment will take you there.
On the last day of treatment, I added a throat basti, which is not on the treatment menu. Alison, my doctor, suggested I try it because one of my goals was to heal the thyroid. They made a reservoir from organic whole wheat flour and placed it on the thyroid. Imagine dough shaped like a donut stuck to the next. Herb infused oil was gently poured inside, bathing the throat and surrounding tissues. This reduces inflammation and draws out toxicity stored in the organ.
Time to Return to Mom Life
You can imagine how I was spiraling freely out in the ethers after five days of that healing circuit. I was completely blissed out. Each day I’d fall a little deeper into rest and relaxation, which invites more healing. When the nervous system is calm, healing takes place.
I said my good-byes to the dream team of healers. Before that, I met with the doctor one last time and she reviewed the instructions to follow over the next several months. She explained how the next steps at home are just as important in order to rebuild a healthy mind, body, and spirit.
The PK essentially clears out a layer gunk. Once that’s eliminated there is an opportunity to rebuild and maintain good health. As Allison explains this to me I sit with excitement. I’m starting something new. I’m building a whole new foundation. Building a strong and lasting foundation takes time. Patience is needed.
Back Home
Now, I’m home and rest is still required. As I write from my desk I look out to the frost covered meadow. A deer crosses my field of vision. The regal doe stands proud scanning for safety. Her nose twitches a bit so her well-developed olfactory sense could inhale more information. Moments later her baby walks, prancing freely. Just like a human child runs innocently in a field, this young creature did not hold worries — only lightness. The young deer stops to eat elderberries off the vine and then her gate turns into a strut to follow mom. I thought the show was over. To my delight, another female comes by with a slow and steady stroll. She feels like an elder. No interest in stopping to search for danger or food. She knew where she wanted to go and how to get there. She was free to roam at her own pace with her tribe.
When wild animals cross my path I look up the spiritual meaning. You may recall reading about the hawks being my guardians and protectors. I believe animals are messengers from another realm. I call them spirit guides. The deer symbolizes tenderness tempered with strength. The spirit of the deer acts even when obstacles challenge the path. Seeing a deer may indicate it is time to leave behind the safety of a grassy bedding for fresh horizons. Deer will often move around for protection. The deer reminds us not to take the negative patterns along when we’re moving, rather let the new surroundings inspire different perspectives. By doing so new energies of regeneration and renewal are created.
That tribe of three female deer spoke to my journey. It was not a coincidence. Seeing the three females out in nature ignited a flare of hope and peace. I receive the coded message from the unseen realm and it comforts me. Chaos precedes peace. Sometimes we can’t make sense of the world around us. We simply have to trust that the turbulence will eventually end. The beauty of endings is that there will be a new beginning. And to end it well is to lay the groundwork so we can begin well.
I needed the heaviness to lift in order to begin well. The PK took the weight and flushed it. Now, I get to choose how to replace that overwhelming feeling of anxiety with a sense of gratitude. Instead of surrendering to fear, I will surrender to love. Change is a choice. Doing new things and having new experiences causes us to think of new possibilities. Creativity is born. New ideas come easily. The never ending process of self-discovery leads us back to the seat of clarity. It’s where I’ll sit as I ring in the new year.
I’ve integrated many new habits and lifestyle changes over the last few weeks. A new nourishing way to end the day is by sharing an Ashwagandha Latte with my girls. Check out the recipe below. It’s a sophisticated potion, but your children will absolutely benefit from drinking it too.
Sending love from my heart to yours.
~Grace
Ashwagandha Latte
1 ½ teaspoon of Ashwagandha Latte
½ cup of raw milk
½ cup of water
2 dates
Handful of almonds
Warm milk, water, and latte mix over the stove. Pour liquid into a blender with dates and almonds. Serve. Sprinkle cinnamon or cardamom on top. You can use 1 cup of non-dairy milk if you don’t have a raw milk dealer.
*Ashwagandha is an adaptogenic herb that maximizes the body’s ability to resist stress. It supports the immune system, the thyroid, and the reproductive system. Ashwagandha will support and nourish overall health and well-being. Alternatively, you can integrate this herb daily in tablet form.
Oh my goodness this is my favorite so far! Beautifully written. So inspiring. Just got an espresso machine so I’m all over this latte recipe!! I’ve been seeing deer everywhere. Love this my Soul sister!! So proud of your beautiful journey!!!